Jokes! The November 17th Edition
Welcome to another edition of Jokes! Thanks for coming by. I hope you enjoy this week's batch:
-A new movie about the "nicest man in history", Mr. Rogers, hits theaters this weekend. People across America are still wondering: when will they find the bodies?
-Bill Gates is once again the richest person in the world, edging out Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. During an acceptance speech, Gates thanked his employees at Microsoft, a soaring stock market, and Bezos' ex-wife for making it all possible.
-The Guest House resort, located on Elvis Presley's Graceland estate, has undergone some recent renovations. Visitors can now enjoy a heated pool, a peanut butter sandwich station, and beautifully tiled bathrooms for you to take your last breath in.
- A kindergartener took his dad's heroin to school, claiming it could make him a "superhero." While he may not be a superhero, he is now officially the coolest kid in school.
- With the holidays right around the corner, homeowners are asking themselves "how early is too early to put up decorations?" If you are asking yourself this question, it's too early.
- A bank teller has been arrested after allegedly going to an elderly customer’s home and attempting to rob him of a large amount of money he had withdrawn from the bank earlier that same day. Authorities said he would've gotten away had he not offered the victim a lollipop.
- The New York Jets got their third win of the season Sunday. This is their first back to back win of the season, and their 50th consecutive season of disappointing their fans.
- A recent study showed vaping is less harmful to smoker's hearts than traditional tobacco. The study also showed that it makes you far less cool.
- An inmate went viral after photos of him eating the new Popeyes Chicken Sandwich spread across the internet. Assuming how the sandwich got in there, we are all patiently awaiting his review.
-The American Influencer Awards will take place this week in Hollywood, proving once again that nothing really matters.