Jokes! The December 8th Edition

Welcome to another edition of "Jokes!" This week has a few less but I promise to make up for it next week:

- North Korea is warning the U.S. that how Trump acts will determine what kind of gift they’ll be receiving for Christmas. Coal workers everywhere have rejoiced now that Trump may finally deliver on his campaign promise.

- NASA has got the results back from their Parker Solar Probe flyby. The results? The Sun is really, really hot!

- The flu season has arrived early. This can only mean one thing: Six more weeks of diarrhea!

- Walmart is apologizing for a sweater that depicted Santa preparing to snort cocaine. They have removed the sweater from their site and replaced it with a t-shirt depicting the Easter bunny smoking a bong.

- An Arizona man was caught on video dumping a woman out of a wheelchair while trying to steal it. Police were able to apprehend the suspect because he was escaping in a wheelchair.

- A banana taped to a wall sold for $120,000 at a Miami art exhibit, proving once again that people in Florida are bat shit crazy.

- A new study found that people create their own false information to back their beliefs. In other news, I've finally gotten over my ex girlfriend who broke up with me solely due to the lack of parking in my neighborhood.

- In nine studies conducted by researchers, people rated the competence of faces wearing different upper-body clothing. They found that men wearing expensive shirts were considered more competent than their counterparts wearing inexpensive shirts. That's the last time I buy a "Santa snorting cocaine" sweater from Walmart!

Tune in next week for more Jokes!