Jokes! The December 16th Edition
Another week, another edition of Jokes! Here are this week's jokes:
- Two men were arrested for running an internet pirating site that streamed more content than Netflix. They will forever be known as the lamest pirates in history.
- Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta brought back their iconic "Grease" characters this week. The couple spent thirty seconds dancing before John blew out his good hip.
- After backlash from conservatives, Hallmark pulled a Zola commercial from the air that featured two brides kissing. Great, now I have to go back to beating off to Flo from Progressive.
- The Supreme Court will not hear a case that would ban the homeless from sleeping in public places, adding themselves to a long list of people who don't hear the homeless.
- 34 years after the original, a sequel to "Top Gun" is due to hit theaters in 2020. Along with the action, there will be an extended scene where 57 year old Tom Cruise spends twenty minutes groaning as he squeezes in to a cockpit.
- Climate activist Greta Thunberg was named Time's Person of the Year. The cover photo captures her perfectly, avoiding eye contact with the camera.
- Recent studies are showing a link between schizophrenia and marijuana. Luckily, in all cases, the schizophrenics were really chill about the results.
Tune in next week for more Jokes!